I grew up thinking about you
Being the best thing I could never have.
You were perfect in everything you do
You were beautiful
And so I'd look for the 'you'
   in every guy I'd meet
Only yo be disappointed
They were not you
When you were the best
And I'd never have you.

Until that day..
The day
I. had. you.
Best days of my life.
I could never stop gazing into those deep eyes
Your voice was my favorite soundtrack
And every noise that you made echoed into the deepest parts of me.

It was surreal,
heaven sent,
cloud nine moment.
Until holding you meant bruises on my skin,
Smiles turned into fears,
Tears were starting to flow
Future became so blurry
My heart aches so painfully
My mind got ****** up.
Worst days of my life.

Man, you were such a pain in the ***.
You were the worst I ever held on to
And Gooood!
I never wanted to let you go
Even when it hurts,
Letting go was never part of the plan.

Either way,
You being the best
Or being the worst,
Nobody could top you.

I loved you,
I still love you.
I wanted you,
I still want you.
Even though,
Even if,
Even when,
Every part of you.

The best, the worst
The worst, the best.

Yet in every star
In every prayer
I wish and hope and pray and dream
And want and ache..

You.