i am lost too
everyone is, but nobody like you
the only one that i think of everyday
half of the time i have nothing to say

who am i
to put myself in the shoes of others
to understand the pain that they have felt,
the nights where they were bleeding in a bathtub and i was thousands of miles away
the nights they were screaming into pillows and wake up robbed of sleep
the days where the only thing that would numb memories
was *****
or blood

so self absorbed
i've realized, i am
my problems were the biggest
but really

i can be happy in the sun coming through my windows at the right angle
i can find pleasure in just walking to the bus
awful things have happened to me
but nothing like what happened to you.

i'm sorry i wasn't there
i'm sorry i couldn't stop it
i would have killed him
i can't make you feel better because i don't know how

but you
you are the most beautiful
you are the most intelligent
you are the best person i ever met
what happened is not a part of you
and i hope someday you understand that

i think of us crying and naked
sitting with our knees up hugging in my bathroom
i've never heard such desperation in your voice
that is what scared me
"help me, please help me"
it just bounces in my skull until i want to shake you and
hug you and tell you how loved you are

i don't know what to do
and this isn't even a poem
just something that might help me figure out
how i can get through to you