10.23.11
he caught me at a young age.
swept me off my feet and held me close.
he was
perfection to me.
he was my everything.
who was i without him?
before i could prepare,
heartbreak happened.
in a fury of lies and deception,
i lost my only lover.
my only friend.
insults like weapons
took away the parts of me that
made me feel alive.
250 pills and
one ***** razor blade later,
i was officially ****** up.
and he was offically
my downfall.
two years later we
were healed.
fragile and broken.
but knitting the threads of our past
to find each other again.
the love that was always there
surprised us both.
and terrified me.
the distance made it unbearable.
and he was so dedicated.
while i was so fickle.
how could i love someone
who had caused me so much pain?
i knew if i gave myself to him again,
i would never make it out alive.

then i met you.
and everything changed.
because something about you
is so addicting.
and i cannot stay away.
we dont have history.
we arent in love.
but in time,
i,
we..
could be.
and with you,
i feel right.
this feels right.
i could talk for hours
about nothing with you.
sleep has never
been so easy,
when i know you are
keeping me safe.
and smiling has never
been so natural
as when i look at you.
you give me butterflies
and pick me up so high.
that there is no point
in even looking at the world below.
there is only you.
and that is all i need.