He had the key.
He could stay with me forever if he pleased, unconscious in my bed and heaven in our crevices. I could still feel him inside me, in the moment when we joined and became the same. We are one now, but we were somewhere else then.
He lives a double life with me in my dreams, sleeping away the truth and indulging in ecstasy and lies. It'll never feel as real as his watered-down kisses, but it's close enough for me to forget what is right.
We'll try and shadow the pain of yesterday with
***, drugs, tears, noise
but it always seems to wake us from this bliss we want to belong in. Wherever I'm meant to be, in either heaven or the hell inside me,
burning or surrounded in light
I just know
I want him there with me.