and I don't think
lying on your best friends floor
at 9 in the morning
drunk as hell and higher than heaven
is what you want to tell your children
you were doing at age 15
but what they might not understand and
what you hope they may never seek for
is an escape that will drowns their sorrows
when everything gets too hard to even breathe
so I pack another bowl and take another shot
hoping it'll ease away my pain
but it only makes me numb
we're all siting on the floor
staring at walls and in the background
a song that breaks my heart plays
but all I hear is your name
"if you loved me, why'd you leave me"
my heart shatters to ******* pieces
each time those words are sung
from the lips of a beautiful soul
that reminds me of you, so I must choose this pain, right?
that must make it my fault, right?
that's what you'd always ******* say
and I wish you knew what you'd done to me
that those hateful words you spoke so effortlessly still keep me up at night
that a year and 6 months later
your laugh plays through my mind like a broken record
the White House with the bright red door
colorful walls but dark clouds surrounding us, I'm drowning in a sea of blue
lying on the ground with a jack daniels in hand
i'll walk over to the balcony
gaze down for a while
and I swear I can see your face in the pavement
each time I almost jump
but silly girl
you should know by now he'll never catch you when you fall