Catastrophism
It's the little things you say, not to to me but to the wind
It's the way you don't say much to me at all
I am a screaming alarm
Flashing lights and frightening myself
If my voice sounds mechanical enough when it says i am cursed, unlovable, easily abandoned
I will forget it's my own and I will listen to it
I will take the words to heart and the voice will begin to sound like yours
I will fill in the silence
I will search for something, anything to prove the voice wrong
"I'm afraid I'm losing you and I don't know what I did"
"I should have held you closer but I'm afraid of my own strength and now it's too late"
I don't have the words to say what I need to say so in the end I say
"Hey, are we like, okay?"