I feel like I should not feel this way.
I feel like it is imperative the I don't,
in all honesty.
I want to touch you,
I want to kiss you.
I want to be asleep,
with your breath on my neck.
I want your beautiful eyes,
staring into mine.

I want to feel complete again.
I want to know,
without a doubt in my mind,
what true love is.

I shouldn't need you,
like I do.
But I am still here,
needing you anyways.
I shouldn't miss you like I do.
Here I am though,
day after empty day.
With you haunting my mind.
Stealing all other thoughts,
and cares from me.
I shouldn't love you this much.
So please, Why?
Why can't I just stop loving you?

Why do I wait for your arms,
to be around me?
Why can't I just let anyone else,
touch me, or feel my skin?
Or get close to me at all?
It feels so wrong,
Like I would be betraying myself.
Like I would be destroying my world,
and every thing inside of it.

It is you that remains everything to me.

You are the only arms I want holding me close.
Like I am the only thing in life worth holding onto.
You are the only lips I want on mine, or my skin.
You are the only one I want inside of me.

No matter what you have done.
No matter what logic I may know.
No matter what I do,
or what I tell myself.
Or how many times I wake up,
telling myself over and over and over again,
I shouldn't love you so much,
that my heart only sees you.
I shouldn't miss you so much,
I just feel empty.
I still do.

It never changes.
My heart refuses to let you go.
I sit here, all alone.
Trying to rebuild myself.
Hoping you go to sleep every night,
With me as the last thought that crosses your mind.
My face in your dreams,
like yours is in all of mine.
Hearing my voice,
sometimes all I hear is you.
Will this pass in time?
Or will our toxic love
just haunt me forever?

Will I stay forever loving,
Forever missing you?