it's getting harder to breathe.
i'm lost in a tidal wave of silence,
as oppressive as your words
can be some days

when they cut deep into my soul.
i'm out on the edge and i'm screaming my own
name as though it could teach
me something new about my horror at

seeing my tears in the mirror.
but all that comes back is my echo;
the darkness of a wasted youth;
too many bottles of alcohol and too

many late nights where i sleep at daybreak.
it's nonsensical, everything and nothing, all
at once.

and then i ask myself,
"am i alive? what is the
essence of my being?"

and no one replies.