As I close in on the final moments of my 60's, I tremble a bit, cry a lot and worry even more. It is an inevitable moment except for those who depart early. I should be celebrating my accomplishments as few as they are and my 70 years.....but it is hard to deal with the fact that the finish line is in sight. Age, decease and failure all gang up on you at a very inappropriate moment. A moment you can't avoid unless lightning gets you first, or a random bus.
I envy all the seniors who take old age in stride and simply "wait" to go......with full acceptance and sometimes even gratitude, if pain is their partner. I deal with my pain the best way I can and I look with admiration at friends who have surpassed me in years and health issues and are still bouncing around enjoying life without fear ...or at least not showing it.
May I walk down the aisle to the end of the red carpet with a semblance of a smile and perhaps even a poem on my lips or a song in my voice.
Yet I am going through a time of concern, annoying those I love and accomplishing nothing.
Words escape me and the courage to share my issues just isn't there. So I carry on, being a stone in everyone's shoe, a rain shower spoiling the summer days .
I am working on it but I am fairly sure by the time I find the remedy I will be ashes on someone's mantel.