What if it wasn't love?
What if I wasn't actually in love with your soul, but in love with the security in which it brought me?
I miss you every second, and want you so often, but what if it isn't actually you that I miss?

I always put you before myself.  
I always did anything you wanted, anything you needed.
I went through any amount of hurt you put me through because I put you first.
But what if I didn't?      
                                            
Maybe I'm just so selfish I'm not able to accept the fact that I actually did all of that for myself.

Maybe I went through it all because I knew I needed security to want to live.
I needed a purpose & you were there to give me one.

So what if I was the bad guy all along?
All the times you hurt me, and all the times you did me wrong, did I only go through all of that to keep my purpose? My reason to live?
      
That makes me the selfish one.
Only really thinking about my own feelings.
That makes me the bad guy.

Both circumstances are so very contradictory,
Yet both outcomes could be identical.
Did I love so much that I stayed through it all for you?
Or was it lack of love?  Which I stayed only for myself because I was scared of being alone or feeling like I didn't matter to anyone anymore...?          
                                                    
So was it really love?              
Or was it the lack thereof?