I could tell you what it’s like
to hold your breath for 4 years,
since I know you have no clue.
and I could tell you how it felt
when I watched you walk out that door
how the words sliced my throat,
begging you to stay.
you saw the blood coughed up before me
how it was killing me.
but it didn’t slow your pace.

I could tell you how our room looked
after you stained it red
and how the sun never managed
to find the windows.
I memorized the steps
from the light switch to the bed
because that’s where my world existed
for weeks on end.

I cut off my friends
because I couldn’t handle
them asking about you.
what explanation do they want?
you didn’t want to stay.
I wasn’t worth it.
our friendship wasn’t worth it.
you just wanted to **** other girls.

could you tell me how mornings are?
cause I haven’t seen one in so long.
I can never seem to wipe the sleep from my eyes.
could you share the secret to not caring?
you seem to have it down to an art.
I always hold on to things too tightly
and they end up falling apart.
do you hurt at all
when you walk across
the shattered pieces
of what we had?
cause I’ve been picking
shards from my feet for years.

do you love her?
was she worth it?
does she help you forget
the person you left behind?