if i tattoo a one-way ticket to heaven on my wrist,
will god remember me as an angel
and accept me back into heaven?
will he make me a priority
and guide me by the hand
and help me back to my home?
on earth, i am so close to hell,
and while i'm also so close to heaven (home), but i'm so far from it.
and i constantly have nightmares that you'll forget me
long before sleep caresses your brain.
how could falling for a human have made me fall? you have dreams! and wishes! and fears!
i have so many new fears;
they drag me down, keep me close to earth.
this new heart creates a melody i don't recognize.
i don't feel real.
and these nightmares won't stop.
i think it was when i forgot to wish her sweet dreams -
her nightmares denied me sleep for an entire week.
and god clipped my wings before i fell so i'd have to exist here,
and they fell off feather by feather.
and i've been trying to piece myself back together,
but there are fragments of me everywhere,
pieces of myself in everyone,
and i can't get them back; all i can do is cut myself on the memories.
all i do now is drive.
i wait for it to storm,
and last night the sky kept lighting up
while it was midnight,
and i swear storms are the closest any of us will ever get to heaven
unless i can convince god that i no longer wish to be fallen.