Why does your heart ache so?

He said.

Why so many tears?

He said.

I love you.

He said.


Love shone in your eyes once.

Flowers sprang up from your open hands;

warmth radiated after your touch;

caressed me like a silken treasure,

wrapped me gently in soft folds…

We made love like flaming embers,

until the dying light sugar-coated the cracks

running along the walls.

Your hands slipped through mine,

your lips lingered a breath away, always a breath too far…


Why must we return again, to this?

He said.

Don’t you know you are mine?

He said.


You pushed me back and held me under,

a deadly shadow of you sliding its fingers around my throat.

you wanted me

until

you didn’t.

beneath the surface of your gaze I saw things.

the dusty landscape of your skin,

the broken branches through your torso,

the glaze of your eyes as they rolled over me naked beneath you,

the tension giving you jagged edges,

the glass of your fingers scraping down my thighs.


I can’t be with you right now.

He said.

Nothing’s wrong, I’ve just got other things in my head.

He said.


I can feel the spots you’ve pressed,

on my skin.

An inky tattoo down my spine.

the pins and needles in my chest.

the heavy feeling of you not coming home.

where in the world did you go?

you speak in riddles, picking lies from between your teeth.

fragments of answers,

I can feel the cobwebs of where you no longer venture,

your door shuts on me.

I can feel my body go numb,

I can feel the blood collect in deep hollows,

I can feel time lose its pulse.


I’m sorry, but I think it’s for the best.

He said.

I don’t want to go, but I need to now. You need to believe me.

He said.


I should never have let you in.

sewing the cuts closed leaves me even

more

aware

of how

broken.

I truly am after your touch disappears.

forever.

fingers blistered,

stitches dripping blood.

bones thick and coarse under my skin.

half a beating heart

ticks

slowly by,

counting the hours

before

I

can

feel warm

again.