We are what we are,
even when all we ever learned from life is
1. we bleed because we are born that way
2. how to play with fire
Danger is singing sweet and fierce between us.
Your eyes-
black like a raven,
black like the underside of a storm.
When we look at each other its a revelation.
Want holds me harsh and burning,
the air between us thrumming with this is mine.
In my dreams,
I chase the sound of you humming to violins,
completely blind.
In your dreams,
everything burns.
Things you hate,
things you love,
things that were never yours in the first place.
Sometimes,
through the roar and crackle,
you think you hear a song.
Tonight,
with the sky painted demon orange and unholy gray,
my heart taps out a frantic rhythm against the cage of my ribs.
Like a cypher,
like a language I only just started learning,
like a song I'm hearing for the last time.
Your smile is a powerful
terrible
wondrous thing,
slashed across your face like a scar,
white hot and hard and glittering.
Fear and joy and rage are the same,
after all.
We call it love in its worst,
most desperate form.
I'm here,
I've been here,
I love you.
And: you are burning all the time,
a star so slow you're almost backwards.
I am never looking anywhere else.
You are everything golden that I have never deserved,
have never been given,
will never know how not to ruin,
how not to hurt,
how not to destroy.
Now,
a list;
1. You, leaning your head into my hands, knowing I'll kiss you if you just close your eyes.
2. The impossible swell in my chest, foreign and aching and terrifying.
3. Your hands, in all my dreams, in all my realities, reaching into the unforgiving dark.