The rush of nostalgia in your blood The joy in your heart It was supposed to feel that way when you see them again.
For me, it felt intoxicating. The bitter poison in my heart tasted like a snake's venom. The taste wasn't pleasant at all because the memories weren't.
And it was all because I was different. High school didn't feel like a bed of roses. It felt like an uphill battle. I had to cry at night, crumble bit by bit, convince myself to keep on going and so much more. And it was all because I wasn't like any of them. I stood by the very essence of who I am. I didn't just sit there and uttered nothing.
I was myself and being myself was the adversary of society. It was the fear of those who couldn't be themselves.
The fight of having to stay true to who you are was one hell of a fight. In the army full of people staying true to their stereotypes, I had to keep on going by being myself, even if it felt like the world was crushing me.
And now, I promised myself from this day on, I will no longer be a victim of this. I will no longer spend my time with people who didn't support the essence of who I am.
From now on, I will be selfish and I will shed the old skin that I've been dragging for years.
I will constantly drink from my well of self. I will wear the skin that I've been longing to wear. I will repeat on loop my faith in God, my dreams, my future, my life.
This is my way of forgetting and regaining peace. This is my way of saying goodbye to the people who didn't even try to know me, and didn't want to try to know me.
All because trying to know something new or being a part of something new was too much work, and discriminating wasn't.