It's when you're just sitting, Doing  nothing at all,
It hits you out of nowhere..

How?

How did we get here?
How did we end up so ****** up?
How are we each other's enemies?
How did we get so far from where we were?
How did we get so far off track?
How can we ever fix this mess we have made?
Can I forgive and forget?
Can you forgive and forget?
Can we even be fixed?

How can you be okay, knowing you betrayed me?
Knowing how it felt!

And then bringing that betrayal around me?
How did you do that?

I don't justify what I did.
There is no way to do that.
I carry the guilt of my actions every day.

I do know without a doubt, that if you had been waiting for me close by.
I would have been coming home to you.
I'd always choose you.

I don't understand the eye for an eye attitude
Maybe that's where we differ
I don't want you to hurt just you hurt me

I didn't sit here and give lectures on truth and honesty and loyalty.
Only for it to come out now that you were lying to my face in those instances.

So, I have to ask
Were the "I love you's" lies as well?
Are all the times you don't hold me,
And all the insults the truth?
Right now I can't decipher between the two.

Anger, resentment, anxiety, loneliness, ignored, neglected and rejected.
Seems to be all we feel right now.
Can it ever be better?

Or are we just going to continue on our path of destruction?
It's like living in a never ending hurricane.
Or are we just going to continue on with life that is so different
From the one I dreamed we'd have?
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to cause pain
I don't want to cheat?
Or be cheated on.

The kind of relationship I want is to know that the love of my life
Loves me.
Only wants me.
Would never think to betray me.
For any reason.

I want to think this is possible
I want to believe in love
It doesn't seem you would think like me.

So where do we go now?
What am I supposed to think?
When once again, I wasn't your chosen one.