Ripping it from the dark box it called home
Holding it in my own shaking hands
Dripping anger and a fear of lost control
Allowing bits to slip through my hands
I sit ingesting its vulnerability
The temptation to spread my hands
How easy it would be to watch it fall away
It stares up at me with a sort of hopefulness
Hopeful that I would give it peace or
A promise that it would give it to me
If only I was more patient

But the questions keep ringing and
My chest is clenched in pain from each breath
Why should I wade through the muck
When there is no end but this
Bare feet to the ground
I clutch it to my lungs longing for answers
Time is irrelevant and the house is at peace
Perhaps this will be my night
Perhaps a walk in the woods will clear my head
Few more drops released to my feet
A need to cry is disrupted by dry tears

Endless circle with no answers
Numb spikes in my figures from holding it
This thing that is supposed to belong to me
And I still don’t understand why anyone would
Believe that this is a decent present to give
But then I guess I was given it by accident
So what if I accidently let it fall
Endless questions with no resolutions
Maybe this black sky will bring compromise
To choose another blade on the self
To drift into unconsciousness  

I stand up wondering why no one sees
How many times I have opened this box
But I return as countless time before
Slip into bed, flowers with ribbons
Of blood pool at my feet