Eyes wide shut,
Fists lightly clenched,
Images slow dancing across my blackened, rosy lid.
Roll over,
Feel the stillness
That unstills my every breath,
And remember to forget,
The negative forbid.

I wrap my arms around its case
And place my head upon its face,
Imagining a steady beat pulsing on my ear,
But retract my every thought,
And reject all that I fought,
For though I’ve clipped my sorry wings,
They do not fly in fear.

To fly without my wings
Will be my one and only feat
To surpass all of the tremors
And darkened, doomed deceit.
And to unwind all that is tied
To this endless weary cheat
Was the greatest forward stroke,
Melt the chains upon my feet.

Scrub to numb,
Worn to a strength.
My eyes no longer paint on it their salty, selfish tears.
Callused hands,
Cleanse away
The stain that uncleaned me –
My reflection on this cloth
As it so long appeared.

I won’t say it here, but it’s still within,
No fading, faltered fall,
And sometimes through my longing heart
I wonder if it’s stall –
Is this really who I am, or have I fooled myself at last? –
But this glimmer of light I feel whispers,
“Your soul has grown in vast.”

I can hear my lonely, happy heart.
It taps,
It thumps,
It pounds.
Keeps time to the pillow pressed to my ear,
A beat without a sound.