someday she'll teach herself
how to get past
all this
*******
sentimentalism
she inherited from her
mother

until then its
            
want  

want      
          
want

& can't have

when you go for so long
giving
& never getting back
only to find that
recently
the receiver has
some kind of heart
for repayment
but you don't know
where it lies
& you'll never ask for
the dreadful, dreadful
fear of the
consequence

well, then you start to go
a little bit

crazy

& the things that no one
should ever know
start to shimmy
out of the
carefully manufactured
woodwork
we call self-preservation

its a lonely
lonely

                                            lonely­ night

in the prairie