To my family, I care about nobody but myself.
But in my own mind, I am not mentally sound enough to make a decision and realize the weight behind it. I do care, I care about whether they sleep well at night, whether the weight of my decisions falls into their laps, and whether or not I can do things for them in the long run. I can't leave my past behind and I can't move forward when the past sits in my lap. How do I wake up? How do I come to terms with myself? How do I keep myself from just giving up and throwing my body from the office window? I don't know, but maybe time does. Just maybe.