I don’t pretend to understand

your reasoning or reasons for un-embracing

Leaving broken and unsure and having to learn

the hard way

how to do it…

I don’t pretend to comprehend your

outspoken pride

in my enlightenment

as to the true nature of aloneness- of alone defined;

abandoned; forsaken; deserted; solo…

but I learned dear mother…

A minnow… in an ocean of sharks…

I learned…

Without your guidance or assistance in any way…

To survive

To walk like a woman

To spot evil

To spot evil

To spot evil

I almost didn’t live through that one

But I lived dear mother…

Without your aid or comfort in any way…

I lived…

My heart kept beating… sometimes to my chagrin and dismay

I awoke every **** morning and began each day with

Anger and distrust comfortably in place...

Until after way too many years

I realized…

Just because you gave me life

Does not mean that you owe me anything more…

Maybe in some nice holiday story or on the hallmark channel

Do loved ones actually love each other

But not in our reality dear mother

Not in our reality…

So I load my clothes and my spirit

some fried chicken and my beloved

(yes dear mother… the universe has given me true love)

into our all-terrain vehicle

and prepare to make this thousand mile trek to your beside…

still pained… but even now

the dutiful daughter

even now…

as you die…

What lessons will I learn from this dear mother…?

Without your disdain or hindrance in any way

What lessons will I learn…?