i am a million different people. one for every second, i've ever had a conscious thought. for every second i've ever been aware of my own existence. and there is no person that i should be striving towards. because the moment i reach her, and obtain her brilliant, generous, selfless, people-loving, peace-seeking qualities, she will be gone. i must make every step. deliberately clambering. deliberately continuing. i must make every step on a staircase that has no trajectory. where each step ahead only comes when i've reached the next. and whether it's up or down. i must keep it. hold it for that moment. and keep moving.