Laugh, because he looks just as unassuming and non-violent as the day you met him.
2. Contemplate swiping right.
3. But don’t
4. Contemplate swiping left.
5. Close the app
6. Don’t eat breakfast, remember how much he liked you thin.
7. Contemplate smashing the phone.
8. Re-open the app. (close it again. Close it again.)
9. Remember his voice, calming and challenging.
10. Wait for the weight of it to come crashing down.
11. Feel the relief of knowing how much you’ve moved on.
12. Say his name, softly to yourself in your bed.
a. Naked sunlight shifting through your freshly clean hair. (The same style you had when he had you.)
13. Put on something cute, feel yourself filling your clothes with the shape of your body.
a. The one he claimed, time and time again.
14. Walk down to the coffee shop, the last one you saw him in.
15. Sit out front.
a. Baiting the shark with a ****** nose.
16. Think about the red head who told you he loved you. (Think about him lying too.)
17. Think about lying on top of him, about playing with his brown hair.
18. Think about the gentle moments, the silence between you.
19. Think about how his clothes looked on you, think about how little you felt next to his taught chest.
20. Think about the moments which make you smile, when you wonder if he ever really hurt you.
21. Scream.
22. Open the app.
23. Close the app.
24. Run from it, like you ran from him.
25. Listen to the music he recommended.
26. Enjoy it because you don’t connect it to him anymore.
27. Remember his hands.
a. soft and hard.
b. He was soft and hard.
c. And fast and slow
d. And hot, but so very cold.
28. Drink coffee.
29. Drink water.
30. Eat something.
31. Breathe.
32. Scream.
33. Open the app. Close the app.
34. Laugh, because he’s not a house you’re ever going to visit.