The dirt under your fingernails
Found its way on me
Yet again
In the form of indents on my skin
This time
Red with rage
And blue with agony
Golden in the bar light
Silver in the street

I wanted
For so long
To cry, to wail, to break
Again
Like I did on New Years Eve
Four years running
On the mornings when
Another's arms weighed too heavily
Or those nights when
Telling you to stop
Would've hurt your precious feelings

Hand on my drink
An anchor
A car wreck
Like the countless ones you could have
Killed me in
I witnessed fear
Walk out of the shadows
And pull up a seat
Right next to me
Sipping on a cabernet

This time however,
It stopped at one
Paid the tab
And took me by the hand
Kissed my forehead
Held my face
Everything will be alright
Carried me over the threshold

You
Always you
Glued to your pedestal
Hands on your beer
Or your cigarette
Or your limp ****
Or on me
Scathing
Berating
Mocking
Baiting
Manipulating
Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Days
Silently screaming
again again again again
why why why why
stop stop stop stop
monster
      monster
              monster
                     monster


Clawing your way after me
Shedding your skin
Nowhere to hide
Reaching reaching reaching reaching
Branding me a *******
Liar
Selfish
Cold
Unfaithful
Intense
Callous
Insane


Monster



Takes one to know one