A gut wrenching unforgiving livid catastrophe is making a home in my bones and will eventually burrow itself out of my skin to make my mouth a puppet to my worst fears and insecurities,
I am bleeding, crumbling, don't you dare utter a single ******* word to me, I don't want to hear any of it,
Nothing on this earth could rot my bones faster than the feeling of failure when I try my hardest to be successful,
A pathetic poet putting on the facade of feeling mediocre at best, I am at my lowest, I just don't want to show it,
My breaths are being stolen one by one by the devil and he knows it,
The steam rising from the streets of my anxiety are making my vision foggy and all I want right now is to lay in the embrace of bad intentions in hopes that it'll let me rest my weary eyes and make me feel right in the mean time, because nothing good ever feels right,

No matter how tall I build myself, you could easily come crash all of my walls down without even trying that hard
Maybe that's a good thing,
Maybe my walls are hurtful,
Maybe that's a bad thing,
Maybe I'm just too exhausted to deal with any of it, so I don't,

I'm so sorry
I am so sorry

I don't want to breakdown, but now seems like a good a time as any,
I feel like I am sinking and sinking, and the lower I get, the easier it is to just let it happen,
Maybe I need to shut the **** up and just let it happen,

I am constantly torn between trying to create a home and trying to escape one,
Oh lovely helplessness, I've come looking for help again,
Wrap your arms around me and tell me I'm okay again,
Isn't this everything I need,
Isn't this everything right for me,
I can barely breathe, but isn't this good for me,
Better to lose my breath than to get choked out of it,
You always made me lose my breath, I wish you would've just choked me out of it,

How unfortunate, picking flowers to fill my head with anything other than ugly thoughts, I wish it worked,
I wish all of this just worked,
I've lost motivation, I need to help myself, I just don't want to work,

I couldn't be better for you,
I couldn't help you,
I didn't know how,
I was trying so hard, but you just left

*I'm sorry