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Jun 2016
How do you know if you're bipolar?
How do you know it's not in your head?
Is there a way to determine if you have a medical condition, when you're not sure if you actually lack something chemically in your head?
What if the power of suggestion were all that were real?
Would that still merit a prescription to heal?
How the hell do I know if I'm well or not?
Can you pop open my head and perform a chemical analysis?
I'm a control freak, but I play along well.
I hide my feelings until there's an uproar, a deafening swell.
It all stays locked up inside, to make everyone else okay.
Inside of me there's a diva, and it's an everyday battle to keep her at bay.
So, what is the answer to this question that I have? Why can't they tell me yes or no, so at least I'll know if I'm making it all up or have the real deal.
Who can tell me? Can anyone? Because I truly have no real reason to be upset, or at least that's what they say. There's simply an unhappiness that rests deep within me, and it makes it hard for me to live a normal life.
I would love to go to work and get on with it with the rest of the world.
But there's is, nonetheless, a part of me that almost seems as if it wants me to be unhappy, because life isn't supposed to be happy, don't you see?
It's supposed to be difficult, to be a tumultuous uphill fight. Isn't that right? Perhaps I'm not getting my money's worth if I don't have an ongoing, real-world plight.
If not, then why is it so hard for me to Be happy? Why is it to difficult for me to be at ease? Perhaps I simply want the medication, to stand upright and shout, "see!? There IS something wrong with me!"
May have bipolar disorder. Being treated for anxiety and depression. Need to see my doctor. Either way, I'm bat-**** crazy
Emily Rebecca Burch
Written by
Emily Rebecca Burch
383
   John and J Robert Fallon III
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