If you want to consider this as anything, I suppose you can label this as an open journal entry. To me it is just an anchor to the present, a gift to future me. Please use this in the event I have forgotten everyone and myself. Thank you for wasting your time with me.

In the past few weeks I have been strangely hearing a statement I have never heard before. "God will always take the side of the critters, because he was born a skunk". It may just be a cliche that I have never heard or something new floating on the wind, but that point doesn't matter. It keeps repeating in my mind like a dull shovel through clay. Does this statement explain my good luck? Does my soul reside in a zoo? Have all diced been rolled, is there anything I can do?

For the first time in my life I experienced anger last week. It wasn't toward anything or anyone. I was home alone when I just started to get hot. Felt as if my blood was going to rise as vapor through my pores. A vein in my neck and forehead was clearly visible. Never in my life have I felt real anger. There was two sides in my mind. A scared little animal and an enraged human.Would one half choke the other out? Would some form of divine intervention thwart the human?

After half an hour, it went away. It has not came back since. I didn't want to break anything or hurt anyone. It felt like what a paper jam in a printer looks like. I hope I never experience that feeling again unprovoked or otherwise.

Where does this place me in the universe? Highlight my dot on a map of the universe.Where are you located? What are you? Am I an insect, critter, human, or just fleeting organized carbon? What do I lack to be able to conform with the rest of my generation. Sobriety has given me no answers, maybe it takes more time.Who would want to love such a whirlwind mind?

I am beginning to tire and regret typing this out, so I am going to wrap this up before I delete it all again. To those who wonder if I'm among the living, this is your proof for now. This goes out especially to those also in the fog of the forest trying to figure out anything. Reach out and maybe we can reach the answers hanging high in the trees. Don't let the predators in clothes confuse or consume you. The forest is a vast sea of trees, don't focus or hide around just one. Doing that will only lead up to something finding you. Thank you for reading, and good luck out there.