So many things to say to each of you,
most of which I probably never will.
So much pain we’ve caused each other,
and yet I love all of you still.
I am glad
that we’ve finally learned to work things out,
and I’ve come to terms
with what I know I can’t do anything about.
Still I wish
that our relationship was no so forced
that we could really talk
and try to understand each other more.
I have learned
how not to let the things you say
make me feel bad
or see myself in a different way.
I try so hard because you’re my family.
Sometimes I think
that you are really my best friend,
but other times
I’m so afraid to let down my defense.
I think only you
Understand this twisted brain of mine.
How can this be
when you say such hurtful things sometimes?
How can we feel
so very many of the same things
and yet react
in such completely different ways?
I still confide in you because you’re my family.
I have always
trusted you with most everything
I’m glad that now
you finally feel that you can trust me.
Now I know
you blame yourself for everything that went wrong.
You think somehow
you failed us back when we were young.
Well you should know
that none of that was ever your fault.
I know that you
loved both of us with all your heart.
I want to help you because you’re my family.
You are all my family.
You will always be my family.