My Dearest Fear,
It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to talk.
But there are some things that I’ve been meaning to tell you,
Some things I need to let off my chest.
And there’s no easy way to tell you this
But…..
It’s not working between us anymore.
I won’t lie.
We’ve had some good times.
You’ve helped me avoid responsibility,
And you saved me from accountability, allowing me to relax, and be easy.
I wanted you and the comfort you brought me.
I mean, who the hell was I to actually be successful at something?
Ha! Remember how we would sit back and laugh at the thought of me being great, phenomenal even!
I wanted to be “humble” and meek, hiding from shine,
Because you said it made me look proud
And that applause was for the ostentatious type.
You really had me believing all the things you said. I was convinced.
No one knew how this relationship had me dying inside.
But you know what?
You gotta go!
Tired of your sullen, melancholy presence stalking my existence.
When you’re around, the air is so thick, like a fog, like smoke.
And my life is beginning to suffocate.
This union is draining.
We’ve co-existed in this house of emptiness we’ve built together.
And I’ve given you everything.
My time.
My talents.
My ideas.
My LIFE.
And what the hell have you given me in return?
Nothing but……. Nothing.
And just an overall feeling of depletion and failure. I can’t do this anymore.
You can have your wasted opportunities,
Your excuses,
Your self-loathing,
Your apathy.
You can have it all back.
I know what you’re gonna say.
You’re gonna say that I’m nothing without you.
But to be honest, I’m nothing WITH you.
So you can stop lurking around and stalking my life.
It’s over.
I have nothing and TOO MUCH to keep giving you.
Do not try to contact me, because I will no longer answer.
Sincerely, Joy