I need sleep, but I just want an ending
And I haven't taken my pills in a month because I don't trust myself not to swallow the whole bottle once it's in my hand
On my medical file they call that "uncooperative"
Instead of "survival"
The doctors don't understand what it's like to be a quickly unraveling thread
I'm pulling on it,
Pulling myself apart
Habitual self-destruction is more familiar than healing
And I feel more comfortable knowing the end game
Recovery is a shot in the dark
Unraveling is much easier