another year has passed and all that remains is the memories of the past
from when I was a young boy, I tried to exit this life in a flash as I had to sit there and watch the ones I love, the ones who were supposed to guide me through life combust into a flame until it has become nothing but white ash
everything seems like a game of Russian roulette
darkness becomes all I know but I fight for the light we all fear
we are all waiting for that moment when all around us will become so clear
happiness is to be found within every sunset
but the sun becomes so unclear, so I'm left with wishing, praying for sudden death to come near
this pain seems to be all I know, because as a father it was all you seemed to show
father why, you were the one I was to look up to, the one to show me how to become a man, I was only a child, but all you left was the dream for something new
time after time again, all of this pain you caused on your lover, you never thought how it would phase me or my brothers
you held her down until her lips turned blue, I'd hate myself because there was nothing I could do, along with the countless hours of hiding from all of the things that he threw
forever I'd wish there was something I could do
until that moment you made it seem true, I could end it all, as I look through the hole in the wall
with just one jump, I could end it all
but how much more of a man would that make me from my father
but then again, you left me with the only thought of why even bother
all because of what you have done to my mother
and now that I have become a man, have I turned into this life of sin
forever you left me fighting all of these demons from within
but instead of hurting the ones I love, it's mainly myself within
so until this day, those memories will remain and the thought of death I will refrain