I’ve been thinking about you lately
Walking from my room to the kitchen reminds me of that time you chased me up my stairs
Back when my bedroom was the first one you could see from the top step
I fell instantly onto my floor covered in roses laughing until I cried
Breathing in the smell of peppermint reminds me of the candy canes you put on my
car each morning with notes telling me what you loved about me
Each one signed with a silly celebrity pen name- but I always knew it was you
I’ve been wondering about God lately
Only because I almost hope that heaven exists so that you’re happy
And your soul isn’t with your body freezing below the earth in this terrible winter weather
Rotting beneath my feet when I visit you
I would rather imagine you playing football with the angels
cheering on your brother and watching over your sisters from overhead
I’ve been dreaming about you lately
Avril lavigne lyrics play in my head as you and I dance to the song that was playing
The moment we met- I never understood what it meant to fall in love at first sight
but hearing you say my name like a the click of a lighter igniting a flame
Lit something within me and I needed to be with you
I feel you clutching my hands as I wake up sobbing to my 6am alarm clock
Pulling me back to the reality that youre gone
I’ve been talking about you lately
Hearing the words pour off my tongue about our memories like they did right after you died
Brings back the hurt and the confusion over who,where, what and why
Just like that god forsaken night when you left me
Whispering our memories to anyone who will listen
Has left me broken, breaking- remembering what it feels to lose everything
And speaking your name
You know- I haven’t said your full name since you’ve died
It almost sounds like a curse if it were to fall from my lips for the first time
I’ve been crying about you lately
I miss you- the way you would race around the hood of the truck to open the door for me
I miss you- the way you always seemed to know the right thing to say
I miss you- your lips touching my forehead after I failed at all I wanted to accomplish
I miss you- each and every day- even when I don’t say it- there’s not a day you don’t cross my mind
But lately it’s been all the time