One in the morning and my mind just won't stop, replaying the memories from my climb to the top, as i reached the peak i closed my eyes and let my mind drop, watched as it took flight into the open air, now when they look into my eyes they can't seem to find any traces of my soul there, dealt a hand that I've never considered fair, dex and insanity labeled the perfect pair, i look at my life and i am filled with a feeling of utter disgust, looking at all these people not knowing who i can trust, only with hushed whispers is this beast discussed, and you wonder why i say this **** is a must, i could probably live without using it as a crutch, but over the last seven years i have buried so much, an intergalactic being walking around so out of touch, I'm absolutely obsolete, I'm completely incomplete, in a downward spiral with the heavens at my feet, praying that when i go that we will finally be able to meet, but i see hells winds beginning to blow as i slowly feel the heat, met death at the door and asked him to take a seat, please listen closely because this is something i can never repeat, something always brings me back to this cold dark place, wishing i could be just another passing face, someone that will be easy to replace, God i hope that is the case, only because they have all been through so much already, chain smoking trying to keep my hands steady, after you departed my heart felt so ******* heavy, so of course when death came the first time i was waiting and ready, he caught me off guard the second time, they screamed as i flattened a second line, i wish i could explain this mind of mine, but i really don't have the time, wouldn't even understand if you knew the places I've seen, lost my mind at just sixteen, can't justify the things I've done, the last seven years spent denying I was on the run, and don't you know that since we met you have been the only one, each night praying that she doesn't have to bury another son, but I'm looking at another eight, on a daily basis defying fate, thoughts of that trip life gave that stone a second date, if death is inevitable then why wait, six grams have me wondering if you are waiting at heavens gate, abusing life not knowing when I will go, even in the darkest of nights my mind will glow, that doesn't mean I haven't been to the bottom though, because I've been lower than low, I've had that bottle to my temple wanting nothing more than to let it blow, this addiction is worse than they will ever know, just praying that my eyes don't let it show, the trip comes so fast and the pain leaves so slow, abusing life because I may never know tomorrow..