I woke up an hour ago and repeatedly said 'hello' to increasingly disheartening silence I expected to be your voice.
I got so scared I thought I was going insane. It made me think I had imagined you and had always been in this bad place, deluded into thinking I was with you that whole time. It seems saying thank you for the break will make it real again and telling you I need to say it makes me weak. I feel I might throw up and telling you is selfish. So much for convenience and light-heartedness-- if those are things people want from this experience. I think people want to know it mattered.. But maybe I've made this point too clear.