let's start simple:
when we were kids you held my hand
we sung songs from commercials
we were as happy as a pair of 4th grade mean girls could be

but now:
there is a boy,
for girls like me
there is always a boy

it's like this:
you run your hand up my outer thigh
and i want to grab your arm and move it inwards
instead, i walk away and push my desires down

so now what? the boy is still here and so am i
i am not your friend
i am not your lover
i am not sure