I started going to church when I was
about seven years old
when my papa was still
alive
I remember because he's the one
who dropped me off there
for summer camp
I think that was one of the
last moments
we spent alone with each other
before he died

I wish I could remember whatever
he might have said to me

Anyhow
I went to this church until I was about
fourteen years old
then they fired our youth pastor
for reasons I'll never know
but everyone will have some sort
of answer for
because this is a small town
& everyone is in trouble
for some misdeed

I started listening to rock music
& dressing in nothing but
black

oh the look on the face of every
respectable adult in this
withering town
I could have painted them all
petrified
but it didn't matter
because that's the year I met
some great long-term
friends
& we would have many
drinks and
dark stories to tell each other
later

I never attend that church anymore
but I got married in another one
& the pastor shared our last
name even though we
weren't related

my sister-in-law tells me he reminds her
of the fake plastic Tim Allen Santa

I wonder when I'll ever
fall asleep