The joy I once found in rotating my face towards the sun has disappeared
The warmth it provides is no longer comforting
It is hot and sweaty and uncomfortable
And I pull up my hood to hide my face
I now find my comfort in cold
In putting my feet up against a frigid wall
Rubbing an ice cube on my skin
A cool breeze sending a shiver down my spine
I can no longer connect to the sunshine
I feel a connection to frozen water and ice walls
They speak to me like a mother to her child
A comfort that most find from a warm embrace
But I find within a chilled bottle of wine
And the metal razor blade
I cling to despair like one clings to hope