I struggle desperately to find something
something that could take the edge off
I drove around a hallowed out town
searching the streets for a place to lose my mind
I only found myself screaming at the top of my lungs
and sobbing into the steering wheel
as I rolled down the streets of places I still don't know the names of
and saw people I will never see again
the emptiness I found within my car
compared not to the fullness of my mind
trying to persuade me to consider the telephone pole
to think about the escape it could provide me
I stared longingly at every abandoned building
and bustling liquor store
never once stopping, but instead screaming
screaming until my throat hurt
screaming with all my windows up
screaming at nothing and everything
screaming, as if that would help