I just want you to know
That I've done well
I no longer let the razor
taste the iron of my blood
I no longer wake up to a pillow soaked in pain and regret
I just want you to know
That I'm not being entirely truthful
I wake up in the middle of the night
When I've had a dream of you and I
In a place I always dreamed us to be in
And the entire bed
Soaked in tears I haven't even realized I shed
I made you promises
Not to turn to destructive vices
To not slowly destroy myself
With the thought of never truly having you again
So I don't
I only wish that I could do those things
Let the razor make trails across my skin
Let the alcohol drown out the sounds of your voice
Let the noose hanging from my ceiling wrap around my neck
I only wish for these things now
Because I promised you
That when you broke my heart
That I wouldn't
Do anything stupid