at 10 years old you're telling the therapist you don't want to live anymore.
your life is constantly like reading the last page of a book and being disappointed in the way it ends.
it's the rain pounding on the roof at 2am.
day old flowers that someone has carelessly thrown in the trash.
lavender bruises on your knees.
your mom's tears when she finds you crumpled on the floor.
pill bottles of endless opportunities.
sleep is not your friend. but then again neither is being awake.
the constant reminders on your wrists even on a good day. but do you really know what a good day is?
reading obituaries and feeling envious.
fake smiles are part of your everyday attire.
  watching the person you love walk away like there's only one channel on the television.
they couldn't understand why you just wouldn't be happy.
170 miles an hour on the highway makes you feel alive.
funny how when you're closest to death your happiness is at its peak.
coincidence? I think not.