I held a bottle of pills in my hand last night,
I gripped it tight,
Tight with all my might,
Lightning struck by thunderbolts of pain in recesses of numbness,
It is like I never felt again what I feel now,
But I have,
Numerous times indeed,
A deafening longing to perish,
To escape a prison cell I have been wrongfully confined to,
A prison cell for which there is no exit,
Surely this cell was appointed to me wrongfully?
Surely I do not deserve to reside here?
Alas all I wish is to feel freedom,
A taste of the sweet essence ordinary people have in their imperfect dreamy lives,
I unlocked the box inside my head years ago,
The box which held broken pieces of me,
These broken pieces haunt me day and night,
Cackling at my unfortunate soon to be demise,
Sneering with disdain at this sour truth I whisper to myself,
The truth that turns in my head daily,
Hourly,
The truth is I ponder death more than most,
More than I should.
An anonymous girl ©