One of the best things in life
is getting revenge on someone
by walking in their vicinity
and farting
so it looks like they are the guilty party.

One of the worst things in life
is watching an episode of Hoarders
where everything gets all better in the end.
I didn't watch the show so I could watch you get better.
I watched it so I could see you throw a fit
about having to get rid of the old rotting cat skeleton in your basement
because it's "special" to you.