A funny thing about life
You can't use hope and happiness in the same sentence
Contrary to popular belief
You can't be happy and have hope
If you have to hope that tomorrow will be better
You are not truly happy
The mask you wear above the layer of pain you feel is not who you are
You cannot be happy
And hope
That you can snap out of it for just long enough to stop etching lines of pain and guilt into your skin
You cannot be happy and hope that you actually decide you want to wake up and face the sunlight of the next day
To others you can be happy
They don't have to see the storms that rage above your throat and behind your eyes
They don't have to see how what once was a raging forest fire of emotions and joy and happiness and life is now but a single burnt out match not capable of generating enough heat to relight any proverbial kiln
Hope is a ***** word
It hides it's true intent behind a cloud of positivity
And hope is a word I no longer know the meaning of