So I just sat there
thinking
Letting my thoughts use my skull
as a punching bag
stressing myself over the inevitable
People die, they walk away
Or run
whichever way will get them
away from you as fast as possible.

My body just sat there
And for two hours
I existed
I became one with the insignificant things
The broken chair in the corner of the room
The piece of paper on the floor
The stains on the window
The stake of empty instrument boxes
For two hours I tortured myself.

Kept telling the people in the room to be quiet
But truth is, its the voices in my head that were making
The loudest noise
"YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH"they chanted
"YOU ARE A FAILURE" they said
"YOU ARE YOUR OWN PROBLEM" they accused
"THATS WHY SHE........"
"THATS WHY SHE......"
I had to slap myself to send the voices running

And I know it might be quiet I my head
But it doesn't mean they are gone
The voices have become good at playing hide and seek
The anti-psychotics don't seem to be  working anymore

So I decided to take a walk
I took exactly 421 steps
That got me to a place
I cant even call a safe haven
Because when you are fighting with something
That is in your head
A brick wall is only there to fall

After sitting in the dark for 10 minutes
I switched on my light
hoping its blinding brightness will chase away
the darkness in me
For a few minutes  covered my ears
As the voices in my head screamed
HOW COULD YOU?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT US

It was after that statement
That I took out the courage
I had hidden under my bed
And unlocked the box that contained
My voice and I said
YOU ARE WRONG, I CANT LIVE
WITHOUT MEEEE!