i will quietly rise from my bed like a sleepless man getting up to use the toilet in the middle of the night
- but it will be 4am, and i will be heading to the shower.
arriving at the airport
i will remember you
and how i don't get to share my life with you anymore.
my sister and i,
we will have adventures in the sea with fish and walk through ancient temples...
but the knowing that you're not there will never stop eating away at our young hearts.
i remember as a child,
feeling with every innocent fibre in my body that you were my protector,
my soulmate,
my mother.
my sister and i,
now we live alone
with memories and knowledge that we should never have to know.
(at least not yet.)
we move quietly around the house,
going about our cleaning,
reading,
cooking,
eating.
but never with you.
at the airport i will look beside me,
the words "how long until our plane leaves?" forming on my lips
and i will realise
that you're not next to me
and i will cry silently facing toward the window side of the plane.
at 4am,
i will rise quietly from my bed,
the sun not quite awake yet,
and a question on my lips.
"why?"