Nerves flare to life, screaming for attention
As endorphins flood into my brain, jolting my senses
My tongue comes alive with the scent of copper in the air
The only thought I can form
“What is wrong with me…”
As a sigh escapes and every muscle releases, relaxes

Then comes the shame.
As I try to remember, is it vinegar to get rid of the stains?
Did I wipe every drop from the floor?
When will someone next visit? Did I hide my tools?
“****… I’m so weak”
And the soft sounds of the bottle opening

The pain doesn’t even come until later
The bubble of peroxide, because the last thing I need is the red to turn green
The sting in the shower, the burn as the water pulls my skin apart
The surprise, when I twist wrong while I pull on my pants
“This was the last time”
The hollow sound, even I don’t believe the lie

Then comes the love, which tastes just as false
Out of duty, if only I weren’t so broken
The disgust is easier to handle
Than the concern in your eyes
“I’m okay, I swear”
I wonder if it sounds as flat to you