May 2016
Mommy! Mommy!
I've been longing to hear those words
for years I've envied the love only a mother knows
many nights spent dreaming of my family
but one day
I snapped
my niece was only four
I yelled and threatened to spank her
she hadn't really done anything
and all of a sudden
I saw my mother in me.
19 years of being the sponge for her harsh words
and I realized
I could never be a good mother.
I can't risk damaging a life
over my selfish desires.
I'll never get to be a mother.
I've been longing to hear those words
for years I've envied the love only a mother knows
many nights spent dreaming of my family
but one day
I snapped
my niece was only four
I yelled and threatened to spank her
she hadn't really done anything
and all of a sudden
I saw my mother in me.
19 years of being the sponge for her harsh words
and I realized
I could never be a good mother.
I can't risk damaging a life
over my selfish desires.
I'll never get to be a mother.
I love my mother, she is truly my best friend. But she is and always has been a very angry person. I see so much of myself in her and I just can't risk my baby having to recover from their childhood.
