they crumble like flaming leaves under my feet, these men and their hearts, these men whose skin I leave tingling when I whisper softly: you will not own me. mother told me I could make any man love me, now I'm telling her yes mama, I can, as I scratch out numbers on their backs- one, two, three, four, scratch, over and over and over as our bodies turn into tides- except that is not what love is to her, and I ebb away from the tenderness I once possessed.