I think it’s time to stop worrying.
I’ve been consumed with fear,
with thoughts of having the floor drop out from under me,
with memories of that day.
you don’t remember that day like I do.
but here’s the thing-
I’m giving too much to the future.
I’m stealing from my present moments.
they might be the only ones I get to keep,
and they deserve more than to be spent fearing an uncertain future. here’s how I see it.
the best way for me to be okay
is to take this in its simplest form.
what I know for sure-
these are the **** facts, nothing else-
is that I have openness with you.
I have found a very distinctive,
very pure happiness
and I am lucky to have found it.
I’m going to keep it
for as long as it will stay with me.
does that mean I don’t catch myself
wanting the complicated, tangled mess of feelings
that would knock me down in a heartbeat given the chance?
No, I want it.
I’m human, I’m selfish and needy
and I’ve found something wonderful
that I want to keep.
I am practicing my self-control,
for better or worse.
I am practicing disciplining myself,
for better or worse.
without them I would’ve kissed you already.