i don't know what day it is, but
there are seven billion webs of experience getting
clearer and more tangled every moment;
bursting, unraveling, stretching to each corner
of this earth-- these paroxysms of human life
illuminate the caves and shadows of my ribs.
i feel the glow in my chest behind each breath,
behind each swelling of my lungs with atmosphere
and everything that i can feel. it hums
to me, reaches out to tickle plants--
they breath into each other, my pores are seeping with life
and aching to be touched by the universe.
so i reach out back--hello again, dear, i’ve missed you.
i spent months cradled in your embrace, the stars were
so bright, and my eyes never clearer.
an old sticky shell was shed, a parasite of the mind
which could only say, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry…”
a demon with her hand plunged down my throat and around my chest,
a whisper of someone who would not return--
i waited in vain.
but i can tell you that the smell of listerine and cigarettes
doesn’t bring tears to my eyes
anymore, my dreams no longer plagued with visions of mattressless beds.
my body exists the way it should: i eat plants and avoid chemicals,
especially ones that trick my brain into subdued happiness.
i give away all my hugs and kisses,
tell strangers their smile is the light of someone’s life--
i pet dogs and hug trees and cry because i didn’t ask for
this gift of consciousness and free will, but it’s the best thing i have